At this point in the festival I can already feel the end nearing and am desperately trying to make the most of the time I have left. I continue to make my way to the studio for daily class and rehearsals. The work is progressing and I finally have a clear idea of how I want it to take shape. With 2 videos projected on two different walls as well and three music tracks and four dancers framing the space, I realize that I cannot do this alone. I cannot dance it, run sound and projection myself. It is a humbling experience to realize that, yes, I need help. Luckily, here at Bates everyone is eager to participate and lend a hand. I have had to let go of my desire to keep things simple and have decided to make the dance that I want to make.

Last night, we performed in “Moving in the Moment,” a dance performance constructed entirely of structured improvisation. Led by Angie (Hauser) and Chris (Aiken), most of the faculty and guest artists danced together for over an hour to the amazing sound of the Bates Dance Festival musicians. To say that it was fun would be an understatement. I had a blast in performance but also in the rehearsals leading up to the show. What a wonderful way to get to know people! Moving together allowed us to meet on many different levels, which created an ease and a sense of community that transferred over to every other place in which we found ourselves together. I have never participated in anything like this and at first was a little apprehensive due to my lack of experience with improvisation. The generosity of the group, however, kept me feeling welcome and I knew that even though I may not know what I’m doing, they certainly do and I can thrust that.

Sunday August 8^th:

A day after the end of the festival and I am still transitioning. It flew by so quickly. In the last week, I also performed in the “Different Voices Concert” where many artists at the festival shared the evening. I showed a solo called “the gentleness was in her hands” which I created in 2009 and have performed quite a bit this past year, nationally and internationally. It was satisfying to return to this familiar piece in the midst of creating a new one.

The process for creating my new solo, which I think I will call “Flock,” was filled with exchange and discussion. In the last week, I was able to have Doug (Varone) come to my rehearsal and talk through the piece with me. He gave me some much needed perspective on the work and asked questions that will help me go deeper in my understanding of what I am making. It was amazing how much he was able to perceive in only one viewing. He asked questions about the journey of the work, my relation to the other dancers, and the integration of the videos in the context of the larger piece. This has given me much to chew on for the next few weeks/months. I plan on leaving the piece alone for a while and look at it again in a month or so with fresh eyes.

Deborah (Goffe) and I held one final showing on the last day in order to get more feedback and one more filming before we left. Although it was a busy day, enough people attended and participated in the feedback session allowing us to leave with more to think about.

I’m leaving Bates with a full mind, tired body, and a longing to return. My time here has been rich with creation, personal growth, meaningful relationships, and intelligent nourishing conversation. I am grateful that the festival is set up in a way that encourages meaningful mentoring on many levels. The communal housing and dining has resulted in so many valuable unplanned exchanges with the other artists here whether they are faculty, musicians, guest artists, staff, or students of the festival. The sense of generosity and love for the art form is palpable and vibrates through this community. The challenge now for me is to keep this vibration going at a distance. I am so happy to have been a part of this and now connected to these amazing people.

In the studio with my laptop, projector, and bed sheets on the wall

Working with more dancers

Video by Jose Luis Bustamante

Arriving to Bates a few days late, I felt that I had to hit the ground running but soon realized that running will not always get you to your destination and might just end up exhausting you. I can’t rush things and need to allow reflection to take its place in my process. Sharing will help too and I am hopeful that the showing tomorrow will give me the information needed to push through.

I find solo work to be particularly challenging, because it can be a lonely practice. I often end up prematurely judging the exploration at hand, wanting to fix it before it has a chance to be. Nevertheless, a solo is most certainly what I want to focus on during this residency. It is important to me to dance in my own work and I’m not comfortable placing myself in a group piece. Solo work is my chance to truly embody my process  and the pleasure of experiencing this physicality first hand cannot be matched. I remind myself of the agony of past beginnings and am assured that the process will gain momentum. Here at Bates, I am given precious time and resources to develop this work that I have wanted to make for a while now. With teaching and touring during the school year I have not succeeded in making it a priority. Here and now it is.

Deborah (Goffe) and I have talked about this shared loneliness and have decided to work in the same studio on Sunday, each with our own process but in the same space. Part of what is missing is simply another presence, which can offer support and a witness to the process. Witnessing from many perspectives so naturally happens in a group creation and I realize now that this is a big part of what I am craving. So, tomorrow I share and add witnesses to my process.

Tuesday the 27^th:

The last few days have been very productive and I feel that I have pushed through. The informal showing on Sunday night was a big part of that. Not only was it helpful for the feedback but also for the “mistakes” and the chance to just get the dance out of my head and into the space. I am working with projection for the first time and, yes; there is a learning curve. Dawn (Stoppiello) helped me set things up and I love that I can so easily have access to her whenever a question pops into my head.

The work is gaining momentum, I know that because ideas are rushing in and out of my head at all times of the day, especially when I am trying to sleep. I am thinking of adding another video and have begun working with four lovely dancers in order to add witnesses to the solo. Thanks Deborah (Goffe), Diana (Deaver), Meredith (Robinson), and Philip (Montana). Today, I invited Vic (Victoria Marks) into my rehearsal and was really excited about our conversation. I can’t wait to do this again. This process confirms that it is crucial for me to share while I am making, make then share, make again, share again.